Kiss and Slap (joke)

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

A Nepali guy, an Indian guy, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there was a kissing sound and then a slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel.
The old woman, beautiful girl and the Indian guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Indian guy is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
The old woman is thinking: That Indian guy must have tried to kiss that girl and got slapped.
The Indian guy is thinking: “Damn it, that Nepali guy must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl, she thought it was me and slapped me instead.”
The beautiful girl is thinking: “That Indian guy must have moved to kiss me, but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped.”
The Nepali guy is thinking: “If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Indian guy again.”

Pollution of all kinds, Atmospheric, water, Noise, soils, even normal
pollution is quite rampant in our country Nepal.This man made and
propleelled physical pollution is ravaging the health of our nation
NEPAL.Pollution comitted by ever increasing autos $ defective toxic
industrial waste inadequte

Treated, sewage and chimicals released from textile, factories and tanneries and this consist mostly of carbonated gases(co2,co) sulpherdioxide,metals like lead,mercurys,arsonic,nitrgen oxide,cadamine etc.

And organic and inorganic, paniculate matter.toxics emission in our
atmosphere are not neutralized by enough green trees (4 tres needed to neutralized by engough green trees(4 trees needed to neutralize
The carbonated gases from one auto) the amount of these harmful marterials have long crossed the safety levels, in most of our thickly populeted areas.

Result is that people are folding into hospitals, doctor clinics with
pollution induced/aggravated nose throat & lungs, skin disease, respiratory diseases, G.I.TRACT DISEASES AND EVEN CANCER.
POLLUTION ACTPOLUTION ACT HARMFULLY IN MANY
(1) MECHANICALLY,
(2) CHEMICALLY
(3) PHARAMACOHOLOGICALLY

Mucus Membranes of the human body are most sensitive to the presence of acid producing gases in polluted atmosphere such as CO2 which produces sulphuric acid by dissolving in body fluids. This acid then destroys mucous cells which produce mucous so with their destruction, Their protecting influence is lost and vicious disease producing circles is started.

IN CASE OF EYE

This destruction of mucous producing cells and the likes of Conjunctiva and cornea, aggravated by institution due to particulate matter in the polluted atmosphere caused symptoms of grittiness smarting and burning, soreness softening and infection of superficial protective layers of the eye i.e.
Hyperemia castinteriates, Keratitis, and Blepheritis, sties and other
infection cysts etc. We are fortunate that at least, we can counteract the
beneficial effects. if pollution as the eyes by following simple
means/procedures.

(i) washing the eyes frequently with plain clean water preferably with
boiled and then cooled water

(2) By cleaning the eyes with simple/innocuous pharmaceutical solution.

(3) By washing the eyes with distilled water or sterilised saline.

(4) Wearing of prescription and protective sunglasses, while and walking along roads.

(5) By immediately seeing an Eye Specialist/doctor if the symptoms of
Redness, soreness, eye discharge persist inspite of above simple remedies.

Son of sardar ji (joke)

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father.” Dad, today we had a Spelling Class – All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?”

“No son, that’s because you are intelligent. ” Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, “Dad, today we had Math class – All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Sardar ??”

“No son, that’s because you are intelligent,” replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, “Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??”

The father replies, “No son, that’s because you are 31 years old.”

Bus driver (joke)

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ”If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I’d be a little bull.”
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ”If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.”

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ”What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!”

The kid smiles and says, ”I would be a bus driver

What does economist do? (joke)

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were arguing about what was God’s real profession. The philosopher said, “Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live.” “Ridiculous!” said the biologist “Before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly he was a biologist.”

“Wrong,” said the architect. “Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!” “Well,” said the economist, “where do you think the chaos came from?”

The Talking parrots (joke)

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Uncategorized
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A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquired.
“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?’”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship.”
“Thank you!” the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say “Hi we’re prostitutes, want to have some fun?”
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!”

10ish (joke)

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

Sean Connery has fallen on hard times. All work has dried up and he’s just sat at home twiddling his thumbs.
Suddenly the phone rings and Sean answers it. It’s his agent and Sean gets very excited.
The agent says, “Sean, I’ve got a job for you. Starts tomorrow, but you’ve got to get there for 10ish.”
Sean frowns and replies, “10ish? But I haven’t even got a racket”.